APH Meltdown Belarus
by Supershadow01
Summary: Meltdown songfic. Contains character death and depression. Fail summery is fail.


**Hello this is my first Song fic. I hope it turns out okay….Ah I'm not really sure what else to say so uh…Please enjoy. ^^ And review if you can. I'd appreciate it. Cause I'm new and all. ^^;**

**And of course I don't own Hetalia or Vocaloid. I'd be rich and so on. **

_The city lights all shine too bright against the chill of ether anesthesia  
>At two am, insomnia has taken me and things are changing rapidly<br>My stomach feels like a hundred degrees  
>Running low on fuel like a lighter without its oil<br>Oh, wouldn't I be relieved  
>If you could tell me that all of this had been lies<em>

Belarus sat upright in her bed, sleep just couldn't overcome her after that horrible "vision" she had. She stared at the clock resting on the bed side table, the red digits burned into her eyes.

"Two already." she thought absent mindedly, more concerned with the burning feeling in her body. She hugged herself tightly, wishing it could be him. If she could just hold him then maybe it would all stop.

"This can't be real."

But it had to be, it wouldn't feel this bad if it wasn't.

Right?

_I had a dream that it was the midafternoon  
>I put my dirty hands round your neck and squeezed them tighter, tighter<br>And I watched as the pulse in your throat  
>Began to dwindle down till the tears filled my eyes<em>

The pictures started filling her head yet again as she was forced to remember the scene another time.

It had been just about noon as she made her way to her dear brother's room for the first time that day. He had expected her but not this way, when she broke in he was quite surprised just to see her stare at him. Unmoving. Eyes dark void of their usual possessive air.

He got up, taking a step back towards the wall. "Ah s-sestra what a wonderful surprise, a-as usual…" he looked nervously into her eyes, which only stayed focused on his.

She said nothing as she took each step closer, trapping him against the wall. His hurried breaths grazed her face, as she continued to stare blankly into his violet eyes.

They locked eyes for what seemed like forever, until she slowly started moving her hands. Until they reached his precious scarf. She wrapped her hands around the ends and pulled it off swiftly, and proceeded to curl her cold hands around his exposed neck.

He let out a confused gasp before she tightened her hands fiercely, cutting off his air. He started to feel lightheaded. He wanted to push her away, to ask her why, but was unable to. He could only watch as his little sister took his life, the life she wanted to own so badly.

She smiled emptily as she felt his pulse slowly die, tears starting to fill her eyes.

_Take me to a reactor, cause I  
>I wanna dive into the core, I wanna try<br>Don't you think that the light engulfing you'd be beautiful?  
>Take me to a reactor, cause I<br>If I could dive into the core, then maybe I  
>would be forgiven and all my sins would be absolved from me<em>

Next thing she knew, she was dashing through the city. She needed to find it everything would be solved if she could just dive in, and engulf herself in its beautiful light. A perfect death. Maybe then she could be forgiven for destroying what mattered most.

Yes.

That was all she needed to do. The light would swiftly purify her, everything would be resolved then. It was perfect, she just needed to find it.

I hear the sound of footsteps running up the stairs and pass along the balcony  
>The cloudy sky drops darkness on the window panes, and shadows fall across the room<p>

Suddenly she was back. In that dark place. She could hear some unbearable noise, it was traveling all around her. She looked around, everything covered in darkness. The sky spreading it's void to everything.

_As twilight scatters the remaining day  
>The ruddy sun the color of eyes that had long been crying<br>Seems to be melting away  
>To leave the world alone in its gradual death<em>

The day was ending, the sun had resembled her own eyes. Red and dying, soon they would both be ended.

I had a dream that it was the middle of spring  
>I grabbed you by the neck while the curtains fluttered, dancing, dancing<br>All the words on your dry, broken lips  
>Spilled out and sounded in silent nothingnesses<p>

She closed her eyes and again pictures filled her head. This time it was spring, the snow lightly on the windows as the curtains danced in their presence. Her hands around his neck once more. He tried to speak to her. His words drowned in silence.

_Take me to a reactor, cause I  
>I wanna dive into the core, I wanna try<br>Don't you think that my memory would turn to white and disappear?  
>Take me to a reactor, cause I<br>If I could dive into the core, then maybe I  
>Would feel like I could fall into sleeping like I used to do<em>

She was desperately searching for the light she wanted so dearly. She wanted the memory to drown in white and die. She wanted him. She wanted to sleep like before. But she was stuck, sitting in the darkness.

"I need you."

_A ticking clock, TV shows, and invisible people's laughter are  
>Filling up all around me, and echoing inside my mind<br>Always surrounding me, and now are hounding me_

Loud ticking filled her ears from nowhere. She looked over at the clock. No it was digital, it wasn't ticking. Loud speaking and laughter resonated with it, making it unbearable. She grabbed her head. Where was it coming from! She was going mad, and she knew it.

_Allegro agitate  
>The ringing sound in my ears just won't stop<br>Allegro agitate  
>The ringing sound in my ears just will not stop<em>

Everything started to ring into her ears, pounding at the drums. Making everything louder still.

_I had a dream where everyone had disappeared  
>And in the dead of night all the quiet gripped me harder, harder<br>Closing in on my panicking neck  
>Till I could hardly breathe for the solitude<em>

Then it was all gone. The silence closing in on her, making her breath short. Her breath started to fade.

She still needed him.

She let out a terrifying scream as she jerked up in bed.

She would no longer deal with this pain.

_Take me to a reactor, cause I  
>I wanna dive into the core, I wanna try<br>Don't you think that I'd go away like drifting into sleep?  
>As the sun arises when I'm gone<br>Oh what a better sight it'd be, don't you think  
>When the morning that dawns can dawn without me<em>

It felt so refreshing as she dived through the air into light she so badly yearned for. She could feel all the horrifying images just slip away. It was if the mistake had never happened. He would be free of the curse she put over him, and she would be free of the rejection, the emptiness, the despair. They would both be free of it all. He would be perfectly fine. And they were both better off. She smiled her first real smile in a while as the white overcame her. Her illusion and her body breaking as she hit the bottom.

"Without me, for sure, a perfect world."

**Okay I wrote this at 3 in the morning so I hope it makes sense. And I hope it wasn't a waste to read.**

**I enjoyed writing it, despite its morbid ending. ^^;**

**Oh and the English translation was by ironia-vitae on DA. **


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